Perhaps you have heard of a concept called re-parenting? It involves taking a troubled youth under one’s wing for the purpose of gently guiding him towards away from his familiar dysfunctional lifestyle and towards a healthier one. The method has seen success in various settings, particularly when the biological parents are absent.
What if we could generalize the concept and use a similar method to help adults live better lives? I’ve heard people talk about what they might change if they could “do it over again” under better circumstances. Although this is impossible, they can look at what they were thinking and feeling during those critical moments when things went awry.
For instance, I was completely unprepared for marriage the first time around, as was my first husband. Not wanting to make that mistake ever again, I took an honest look at how it was not as I had believed, “meant to be.” Things that factored into my poor choice included my age and immaturity, undiagnosed depression, views on family roles, desire to escape a dysfunctional home, and inability to support myself at that time.
I couldn’t save my doomed marriage, but I could make a better life for me and my child because of my willingness to conduct an honest and painful assessment of my past failures. Everything changed from that point forward, which was quite frankly the most frightening, yet intensely exciting time of my life. But facing change is living and that was my primary goal back then.
Too many of us are simply existing through our lives and that is not why we are here. Life must be experienced in its full spectrum of color, whether it displays those as dark as coal or the brightest rays of yellow. If might be time for a few changes if things are consistently not going your way.
Image By Gregory Maxwell – From Image:Yin_yang.png, converted to SVG by Gregory Maxwell., Public Domain, http://dld.bz/euTNN